So pardon me while I whine and complain for a few minutes.  Hopefully this will get me out of my Monday morning funk and get me moving again…

I’m tired!  I’m tired of doing the same damn thing over and over again and ending up right where I started. 

My kitchen sink is full of dishes.  My dishwasher is also full of dishes and running.  I know I did them yesterday!  My kitchen floor is dirty.  You know… the one I scrubbed on my hands and knees last weekend despite the fact that I’ve had back pain for a month?  And I can’t get to my children’s beds to kiss them good night in the evenings without threat of getting sucked into the quick-sand of toys and clothes scattered across the room.  Didn’t we just clean?  UGH!  I could go on and on.  I won’t though, because I’m guessing that you’ve been there, done that.  You know exactly what I mean, don’t you?  And yes, I have met the FlyLady.  And YES, I am being too picky!!  (And yes, I did have to go back and put that second “o” in the “too” in that sentence because I have issues like that toO!) 

So, what’s up with this twenty pounds? I’ve lost this same damn 20 pounds over and over and over again.  I should SOOooo know better than to ask.  Because I already know ALL the answers.  Yes, I quit smoking in October.  Yes, I ate too much during the holidays (was that four months ago already?).  Yes, I’ve been working out and yes I know that muscle weighs more than fat.  Yes, it probably has something to do with my level of stress and my prescription medication (which I won’t be able to keep taking now that I don’t have the insurance to pay for it).  Yes, I am getting older and my metabolism is slowing down.  SO WHAT?  Have any of these reasons EVER made that mushroom top look more attractive?  No!  I didn’t think so!  (Did I forget to mention the second serving of chili with cheese and sour cream I had last night?  Or the cocktail I had?  Oh Pleeeease!  That has NOTHING to do with anything!)

And speaking of exercise, why is it that every time I start feeling like I’m making progress, something happens that forces me to stop?  Last year I was starting to train to run a 5K.  I’ve never ever been able to run more than a 1/4 mile without stopping, but I was making progress for the first time ever and ….  Oops!  I was in an accident and hit my head (bad enough to warrant an MRI) which took me off of the exercise agenda for weeks.  That was the end of that.  When I started running again, my shins gave out.  Then when I started again, my back went out.  What the heck?  Is there some cosmic force telling me I shouldn’t exercise for some reason?  Well, guess what?  I’m not listening!  I’m going to get back on that treadmill if it kills me!  (Which it might.)

And now I have next to no income and HAVE to get my website businesses going.  I HAVE to find some creative way to spur business and make this profitable or my children don’t get to eat.  Do you have any idea how difficult it is to be creative under that kind of pressure?  (Okay… me and the other half of the population these days.  Am I preaching to the choir?  Sorry.)

And… and… and….  How am I doing with this self-pity party so far?  Yeah, I thought so.  But sometimes ya just gotta vent!

Yes, I know that I have complete control over ALL of this.  And I’m going to go clean my dishes and get on my treadmill (where my creative juices will start to flow) and then I’ll get some website work done. 

Because I can!

Because I won’t quit!

See?  I feel better already!

As you probably know, my position at work was eliminated a week and a half ago. (i.e. I was fired… and the reason given: “it’s just business”.) Needless to say, after working for a brand new company for 11 months and having been promoted twice in that time frame, being let go was a rather big shock. Yes, I’m sure it’s for the best.

So, obviously we are going to add a large amount of financial stress into this equation since my unemployment benefits will be almost $200 less a week than my paycheck and I will be losing my insurance (for all the good it did me anyway). One of my prescriptions is $220 a month for the GENERIC! I’m waiting for my doctor to give me a solution to that problem.

My back hurts like hell! I threw it out coughing when I had a chest cold a month ago. I’ve gotten a massage, two chiropractic adjustments and done quite a bit of walking and stretching. I was doing well for a couple of weeks, but the recent stress has led to muscle tension which has led me to walking like a 90 year old man again.

I had a fight with my husband last week about an old unresolved issue. He has forgiven me for things that I had gotten myself into during my “mid-life crisis”, but I have been unable to forgive him for what preceded the entire breakdown in our relationship. Obviously, there is alot more work to be done in that area on my part.

And then there is the issue of what-do-I-do-now? Again, I am faced with the question of “What do you want to be when you grow up?” My slate is clean. I have a fresh place to start. What on Earth do I do with it? I think I want to work for myself again. I want to pick up my website consulting and my fitness mentoring where I left it and make it all work this time. But who am I to be successful at that? I know alot and I am organized and resourceful, but I’m certainly no expert!

Believe it or not, I actually managed to get all of these thoughts out and discussed in an hour. We discussed what has happened, how and why to get around my roadblocks, and she gave me an incredible amount of confidence in the process. I wasn’t quite sure if she was my psychotherapist or if she had transformed into a life coach. I believe she has managed to be both. I’ve seen her off and on for at least two years now and we’ve made incredible progress, especially lately. Today was definitely one of the great therapy sessions. There was so much energy in the room that she actually started to “get goosebumps” and cry. Yes, her. Not me. Although I did leave with an entirely different attitude than I walked into that room with.

Look out world! Here I come!

By the way, if you are ever in need of a great therapist in Western NC, her name is Roberta Moore and her practice is Conscious Choices.

Kids are also home, on school break, and my routine is completely out of whack. I can’t get any work done without interruption.

I have lost my space. I have lost my routines. I’m freaking out and stressing out in every way imaginable.

Thank God I have a massage tomorrow morning!

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Menu Planning services provide moms with a simple to follow dinner menu for every week. Not only do you get great dinner meal suggestions including main dishes, side dishes and desserts that are delicious, simple to make and nutritious, but you also get a tailored grocery list to easily shop for the foods for the upcoming week. You can save tons of money, because when shop for only what you will be preparing and what ingredients you will need you won’t wastefully purchase foods and items that you don’t need.

Many people waste hundreds of dollars each year purchasing food items that they don’t need. In many cases foods are wasted, because they sit around not being used in any meals you make. Once you find a meal suggestion for these items, they are usually too old, spoiled or stale.

By using a menu planning service you will also cut costs on fast food and casual dining restaurant bills. Many families become discouraged when there is no food in their refrigerator. Instead of preparing a nutritious and low cost meal at home, they opt for the convenience of visiting fast food and casual dining establishments that can easily run $20, $50, $100 or more. If you are searching for a solution to keep you at home instead of at high priced restaurants, a meal planning service is an economical and efficient solution.

Another way you can receive the rewards from menu planning is with all the time you will save. Now that everything is planned out for you, you won’t have to spend time each day running back and forth to the grocery store to buy needed food items, you can have your whole week’s meals planned out and have a comfortable and relaxing time at home with your loved ones.

If you are searching for a great way to save on your grocery bills, look into a menu planning service.

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One of the ways I’ve dealt with the financial stress is by creating “Financial Friday“.  I only deal with finances on Fridays, and once the routine financial chores are out of the way, I focus on improving only one line item of my budget.

Let me share with you a few of my financial victories in improving the more bills than money problem…

Auto Insurance: Focusing on just this one budget item, I started evaluating the best way to lower my auto insurance premiums.  I compared companies and rates.  I combined all family autos onto one policy in order to get a discount.  (You could add your homeowner’s insurance for an even better rate if applicable.) Then I started chopping off any coverage that cost more than the premium was worth and increased my deductibles. By the end of the day, I had cut my total auto insurance budget in half.

Cable/Phone/Internet: (Okay, so that’s more than one item, but they are now one category in my budget because I “bundled” them.)  I’m not afraid to play one company against another.  So when my cable company began offering phone service, the negotiations began.  I immediately called my phone company and asked them what they would do to keep me as a customer.  They offered me a pretty darn good deal.  Then I took that offer right back to the cable company and asked them to do better.  They did!  Now my cable/phone/internet bundle costs less than I was paying for cable and internet before.  And even after the promotional offer expires, the cost will be about the same as before, but I’ll now have free long distance, caller ID and call-waiting, which I didn’t have before.

One of the benefits of setting up a budget is being able to see everything in one place, in black and white.  Only once this is accomplished you can start conquering the more bills than money problem. 

If you need help setting up a budget, I recommend the Family Budget Guide Ebook.

One thing in our favor right now is low mortgage rates. I decided to take advantage and see if we could help our financial position. We just refinanced our mortgage and got a much better rate. We even freed up a little cash in the process. It was really easy and only took a couple of weeks, tops. It’s certainly worth looking into.

Grab a good rate while you still can!

Financial Friday is my financial management day.  I still balance the checkbook and pay bills, but I also work on debt management strategies.  Using worksheets in Financial Peace, I am starting to analyze all of our income and spending on a monthly basis.  With the gruesome details layed out in front of me on paper, I can see where changes need to be made and I am forced to face the facts.

I’m having a problem though.  Debt busting and the ever-popular “snowball method” of debt reduction don’t work well for people who have no money left over at the end of the month.  I’ve reduced every bill that I can reduce.  Being a stay-at-home mom for the past five years has put a huge burden on our financial situation and we have acquired an enormous pile of debt.  Yes, my website business has brought in some income, but not enough.  We have more monthly expenses and debt payments than we have income.  Many months we rely on credit cards to buy groceries and pay medical expenses…  only compounding our problems.  (Maybe I should have named this post “Confessions of a WAHM”.)  Any way…  Enough whining…

One Financial Friday at a time, right?

Financial Peace: Revisited (Revised) With new chapters on marriage and money, kids and money, and singles and money, Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace Revisited helps readers to understand the forces behind their financial distress and how to set things right–financially, emotionally, and spiritually.

How did that happen?

I hit the store on the first day of the sale and more importantly, I went with a friend.  We tag-teamed the process.  It felt more like a scavenger hunt than a required chore.  It was almost fun. 

“I need two 24 packs of Crayola Crayons.  How many do you need?”

“Can you grab me a roll of paper towels and a box of zip-lock freezer bags while you’re over there?  Thanks.”

Then we stood at side-by-side checkouts chatting while we unloaded.  Four large bags of school supplies: $33.38.  Bonding with friends while doing getting it done.  Priceless!

I recently had a conversation with an acquaintance about finances.  Things have been really tough here in the financial department since I became a stay-at-home-mom five years ago.  Business has been okay, but let’s face it, working at home with preschoolers doesn’t always accomplish what we hope it would.  And now that my daughter will be entering Kindergarten in a few months, the topic of me going “back to work” has been a hot one and I only expect it to get worse. 

This acquaintance of mine told me that I should start looking for a full-time job now to prepare myself for the fall.  While she thinks it’s great that I’ve stayed home with my children up until now, with our financial situation, I need to get back out into the real world.  “It’s time to put on your grown-up panties!”, she said.  (Did I mention that she is single with no kids?)

Well, I’ve just gotta say “POOEY!” on that thought.  Financial difficulty or not, home is exactly where I needed to be up until now and it is exactly where I am going to stay!  I left my career to be available to my children when they needed me and they still need me, even if they are in school.  

I expect that with both of my children in school full-time, I will be able to give my home business the attention it deserves and start working our way out of debt.  Actually, I’m pretty darn positive about that.  So is my husband – thank goodness.

Call me lazy, selfish, unrealistic, whatever.  I know what is best for my family.  I am proud of the choices I’ve made.  So, everyone who hasn’t lived in my shoes (er, panties in this case), can just leave me alone!   

——————————————————- 

Debt Busting by Clare Evans

According to research by Callcredit (May 2005), 60% of consumers do not know how much they owe.  10% of men have no idea about their personal debts while women are worse, with 20% not knowing their personal debts.

Where do you fit in to these statistics?

Debts can be a major cause of stress and anxiety.  You might feel like sticking your head in the sand, not open the bills and just keep paying the minimum monthly payments on your credit card.

Long-term debt can have a serious impact on your health – physically and emotionally as well as your relationships.  You may have got into debt through no fault of your own but the sooner you realise you have a problem you can start doing something about it.

Credit cards are just another form of debt.  It may seem like an easy solution, ‘Buy Now, Pay Later’ but how much do you really end up paying for that short-term pleasure?

Before you start reducing your debts, get all your debts out on the table.  How many debts do you currently have?

• Loans, outstanding credit cards etc.
• What interest are you paying on them and over how long?
• How many payments are outstanding?
• How much will you end up paying in total?

No more just paying the minimum payment each month.  You’re just hiding from how much you’re actually spending and what it’s actually costing you.

Before you are tempted to go to one of these debt consolidation companies, see what you can do for yourself first.  They may lower your payments but you could end up paying more in the longer term and some of them charge a hefty upfront fee for their services, which they just add on to your debt.

If you have a high level of debt – talk to the credit card company or banks to see if you can renegotiate your debt and the payments.  Look into the interest free transfers on credit cards but be aware these can be over the short-term only and don’t allow new debt to be accumulated – if you do, they’ll hit you will high interest rates.

Once you’ve identified your debts, you can start busting them one by one.  Choose the first debt you want to clear.  Use any spare cash you have to put toward the most expensive debt, while keeping up the minimum payments on all the others.

While it may make sense to pay off the highest interest or largest debt first, sometimes you may get a lot more personal satisfaction and be more motivated to pay off a more emotional debt first (for instance the loan for a car you no longer own).

Avoid accumulating any further debt, while you’re clearing your current debt.

DON’T reduce your payments.  DON’T be tempted to spend that ‘spare’ money on yourself.  You MUST clear your debts first.

Cut up your credit cards.  If you can’t spend responsibly then don’t use them.  It’s a good idea to put your credit card payments on direct debit so the FULL amount gets paid each month.

Use cash for everything.  You’ll soon realise how much you’re spending if you have to pay for everything with cash.

Never buy what you can’t afford.  There are rarely things that you need so desperately that you absolutely must buy them NOW.  If you want something – save up for it and buy it when you can afford it.

Here are just a few ideas to earn some extra income to provide you will additional cash to get you out of debt faster.

• Get a second job to clear your debts that much quicker.  Even working a couple of extra hours a week or a part-time job will help.

• Take any unwanted goods, clothes and clutter to a car boot sale.  You can make some extra money and add that to your debt reduction pot.

• Pay for everything with notes – don’t pay for anything with change.  Put the change to one side every time you get home and it will soon mount up to some real debt-busting money.  (Try it this week).  Save the change and put it towards paying off those debts each month.

Once you’ve cleared any debt you can move on to starting making some savings.

Copyright 2006: Clare Evans

About the Author:

Clare works with individuals and small business owners to enable them to plan and organise their time more effectively. Download a free Money Habits Checklist and an extract of her ebook More Month Than Money.

Register to receive free Weekly Time Tips at www.clareevans.co.uk or send an email to claresnews@aweber.com and receive her free monthly newsletter.