So pardon me while I whine and complain for a few minutes.  Hopefully this will get me out of my Monday morning funk and get me moving again…

I’m tired!  I’m tired of doing the same damn thing over and over again and ending up right where I started. 

My kitchen sink is full of dishes.  My dishwasher is also full of dishes and running.  I know I did them yesterday!  My kitchen floor is dirty.  You know… the one I scrubbed on my hands and knees last weekend despite the fact that I’ve had back pain for a month?  And I can’t get to my children’s beds to kiss them good night in the evenings without threat of getting sucked into the quick-sand of toys and clothes scattered across the room.  Didn’t we just clean?  UGH!  I could go on and on.  I won’t though, because I’m guessing that you’ve been there, done that.  You know exactly what I mean, don’t you?  And yes, I have met the FlyLady.  And YES, I am being too picky!!  (And yes, I did have to go back and put that second “o” in the “too” in that sentence because I have issues like that toO!) 

So, what’s up with this twenty pounds? I’ve lost this same damn 20 pounds over and over and over again.  I should SOOooo know better than to ask.  Because I already know ALL the answers.  Yes, I quit smoking in October.  Yes, I ate too much during the holidays (was that four months ago already?).  Yes, I’ve been working out and yes I know that muscle weighs more than fat.  Yes, it probably has something to do with my level of stress and my prescription medication (which I won’t be able to keep taking now that I don’t have the insurance to pay for it).  Yes, I am getting older and my metabolism is slowing down.  SO WHAT?  Have any of these reasons EVER made that mushroom top look more attractive?  No!  I didn’t think so!  (Did I forget to mention the second serving of chili with cheese and sour cream I had last night?  Or the cocktail I had?  Oh Pleeeease!  That has NOTHING to do with anything!)

And speaking of exercise, why is it that every time I start feeling like I’m making progress, something happens that forces me to stop?  Last year I was starting to train to run a 5K.  I’ve never ever been able to run more than a 1/4 mile without stopping, but I was making progress for the first time ever and ….  Oops!  I was in an accident and hit my head (bad enough to warrant an MRI) which took me off of the exercise agenda for weeks.  That was the end of that.  When I started running again, my shins gave out.  Then when I started again, my back went out.  What the heck?  Is there some cosmic force telling me I shouldn’t exercise for some reason?  Well, guess what?  I’m not listening!  I’m going to get back on that treadmill if it kills me!  (Which it might.)

And now I have next to no income and HAVE to get my website businesses going.  I HAVE to find some creative way to spur business and make this profitable or my children don’t get to eat.  Do you have any idea how difficult it is to be creative under that kind of pressure?  (Okay… me and the other half of the population these days.  Am I preaching to the choir?  Sorry.)

And… and… and….  How am I doing with this self-pity party so far?  Yeah, I thought so.  But sometimes ya just gotta vent!

Yes, I know that I have complete control over ALL of this.  And I’m going to go clean my dishes and get on my treadmill (where my creative juices will start to flow) and then I’ll get some website work done. 

Because I can!

Because I won’t quit!

See?  I feel better already!

As you probably know, my position at work was eliminated a week and a half ago. (i.e. I was fired… and the reason given: “it’s just business”.) Needless to say, after working for a brand new company for 11 months and having been promoted twice in that time frame, being let go was a rather big shock. Yes, I’m sure it’s for the best.

So, obviously we are going to add a large amount of financial stress into this equation since my unemployment benefits will be almost $200 less a week than my paycheck and I will be losing my insurance (for all the good it did me anyway). One of my prescriptions is $220 a month for the GENERIC! I’m waiting for my doctor to give me a solution to that problem.

My back hurts like hell! I threw it out coughing when I had a chest cold a month ago. I’ve gotten a massage, two chiropractic adjustments and done quite a bit of walking and stretching. I was doing well for a couple of weeks, but the recent stress has led to muscle tension which has led me to walking like a 90 year old man again.

I had a fight with my husband last week about an old unresolved issue. He has forgiven me for things that I had gotten myself into during my “mid-life crisis”, but I have been unable to forgive him for what preceded the entire breakdown in our relationship. Obviously, there is alot more work to be done in that area on my part.

And then there is the issue of what-do-I-do-now? Again, I am faced with the question of “What do you want to be when you grow up?” My slate is clean. I have a fresh place to start. What on Earth do I do with it? I think I want to work for myself again. I want to pick up my website consulting and my fitness mentoring where I left it and make it all work this time. But who am I to be successful at that? I know alot and I am organized and resourceful, but I’m certainly no expert!

Believe it or not, I actually managed to get all of these thoughts out and discussed in an hour. We discussed what has happened, how and why to get around my roadblocks, and she gave me an incredible amount of confidence in the process. I wasn’t quite sure if she was my psychotherapist or if she had transformed into a life coach. I believe she has managed to be both. I’ve seen her off and on for at least two years now and we’ve made incredible progress, especially lately. Today was definitely one of the great therapy sessions. There was so much energy in the room that she actually started to “get goosebumps” and cry. Yes, her. Not me. Although I did leave with an entirely different attitude than I walked into that room with.

Look out world! Here I come!

By the way, if you are ever in need of a great therapist in Western NC, her name is Roberta Moore and her practice is Conscious Choices.

Visceroptosis – A rare, but possible condition where internal organs have been displaced by poor posture and pregnancy.  Strengthening your inner unit muscles can help alleviate this.

Bloating – Food intolerences and diet can cause bloating of your intestines and make your stomach look extended.  Changes in your diet can help alleviate this.

Body Fat – The obvious primary cause.  The cure?  Burn the fat!

Excess Skin – Even after weight loss, excess skin can hang around.  Especially when you’re… um… older.  I haven’t read any realistic solution to this problem except surgery.  Please comment if you are aware of a better solution!

Muscle Weakness – Most women make the mistake of only exercising their outer abdominal muscles by doing crunches and sit-ups.  If you want to flatten your lower abs, you need to strengthen the inner unit muscles (transverse abdominis, multifidus, pelvic floor and diaphragm). 

Purchase the Firm and Flatten Your Abs ebook now

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Deliciously Yours is available thru eDiets.com (my all-time favorite diet plan).

This is what my day tends to look like.  Not only am I spending too much time in an office chair and not scheduling time for exercise, I’m not eating right.  Lack of exercise plus a poor diet equals big butt! 

Remember my Bikinis & Diet Plans post from early this summer?  Well, I still want to be able to wear that bikini come next June (and not scare people while wearing it)!  Sometimes it’s just so hard to exercise and eat right while being so busy!

Don’t gain weight because you’re busy! Click here for the Busy Woman’s Guide to Weight Loss.  

I need to work on getting that exercise routine going again.  I have to schedule it or I’ll never do it.  And I have to start eating regular meals.  My poor metabolism is so confused it doesn’t know what to do. 

After writing my previous post about spring cleaning and getting outside to enjoy the warmer weather, my thoughts turned to bathing suit season.  After all, it is that time of year when women start to think about what they are going to look like in their bathing suit this summer.  I know I do. 

It was nice enough here in North Carolina last week that I actually put on my bikini and went out in the yard to get some sun.  Now, I’ve actually lost about 25 pounds in the past few months, but I’m still not liking how things looked.  I certainly wouldn’t put that bikini on in public.  I look like a woman who has two kids and spends way too much time sitting in front of her PC.  Know what I mean?

So, that whole little adventure got me thinking what I’m going to do about it. Since I’ve already lost most of the weight I need to lose, I need to start toning.  Exercise sounds like the right plan for me.  I’m sure that will mean me returning to my trusted ProForm Treadmill.

What does it mean for you?  Are you ready for your bathing suit?  (Come on… I dare you to post a comment and tell me about it!) 

If dieting is in your close future, I’ve made a list of the most popular online diet plans for you to compare, including the one that taught me how to lose my 25 pounds.  I would also love to hear from you if you think I’ve missed a good one or if you have a review of your own to share.

I hope that as the sun continues to shine brightly and the weather gets even warmer, that we all feel thin and sexy in our bathing suits.  Remember, we need to take time out for ourselves too.