I got this in an email and thought it was so appropriate that I had to share…

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 glasses of wine…

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him.  When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls.

He then asked the students if the jar was full.  They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar.

He shook the jar lightly.  The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls.  He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar.

Of course, the sand filled up everything else.  He asked once more if the jar was full.  The students responded with a unanimous ‘yes.’ The professor then produced two glasses of wine from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand.  The students laughed.

Now, said the professor, as the laughter subsided, ‘I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life.  The golf balls are the important things; your family, your children, your health, your friends, and your favorite passions; things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.’ The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, and your car.  The sand is everything else; the small stuff.

If you put the sand into the jar first,’ he continued, ‘There is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls.  The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you.’ Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.  Play with your children.  Take time to get medical checkups.  Take your partner out to dinner.  Play another 18.  Do one more run down the ski slope.  There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal.

Take care of the golf balls first; the things that really matter.  Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.’ One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the wine represented.

The professor smiled.  ‘I’m glad you asked.  It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there’s always room for a couple of glasses wine with a friend.’

The best laid plans sometimes fail.  Or do they?

When my daughter started Kindergarten in August, I had planned on taking a week off for personal reflection and rejuvenation.   I was going to recharge my batteries and jump into my website work and household management with gusto.  That didn’t happen.

I found myself with all this “free” time on my hands and just kindof went crazy.  I slept late, a lot.  I wasted time browsing around the internet, a lot.  I went out, a lot.  All of a sudden being home completely alone didn’t seem like such a wonderful idea.  I felt isolated.  So, when friends said “let’s go”, I went. 

Once I finally had time to figure out what I wanted to do and how I was going to do it, I couldn’t do it.  I have been so busy taking care of everyone else for so long that I didn’t know who I was any more let alone what I wanted to do now that I was grown up.  Having my children at home was a really good excuse to hold me back, but my excuse was pretty much gone.

Best laid plans?  WHAT plans?  I hadn’t really made any plans.  I was floundering.  I was (am) depressed.

Looking back at the past few months I realize that I have accomplished nothing.  Nada.  Zip.  Zilch.  (Okay, I may be being a little too hard on myself here.)  Instead of picking up business and getting my house in order, it’s worse than it has ever been.  I was suffering.  My family was suffering.  Our finances were suffering.  I even considered going out and getting a job!  GASP!

What frustrates me the most is that I know better.  The whole concept between this blog and my website is about how to balance so THIS doesn’t happen.  But I guess there is my reality check.  It does happen.  It happens to the best of us.

So, what am I going to do about it?  I am going to continue to see the therapist that I began seeing a few months ago and I’m going to start following my own advice.  I’m going to go back to the basics.  I am going to re-read my 5 part email series on How to Achieve Life Balance.  (Look for the purple subscription box and join me!)  I am going back to scheduling work hours, setting daily goals, and holding myself accountable.

Again, I invite you to join me.  Accountability works so much better when you share it with others.

Are you suffering from mom burn out? Do you struggle just to make it through each day? Moms everywhere are breaking down because they are too chicken to say, “No.”

“No” may be a tiny, two-letter word, but it can be your secret weapon. And you can say it. Here are some ways you can say “no” without feeling guilty about it:

Sorry, I’m taking a break.

The number one reason why you should say, “no” occasionally is simply that you deserve a break. You are chef, chauffeur, dish washer, and more. You job never ends on any given day of the week. You deserve a break. If you feel bad for saying “no,” say, “Sorry, I’m taking a break.”

My schedule is full.

We tend to jam-pack our schedule full of activities, leaving time for nothing. Cut back on your kids activities. Start a car pool and share driving responsibilities. Do whatever you can to free up some time in your schedule.

I don’t have time.

You’re headed out the door, rushing to the next appointment when the telephone rings. What do you do? Do you come to a screeching halt and answer the phone? Let’s say you do, and it’s a family member, calling to dump their latest woes on you. Do you stand, tapping your foot impatiently while you roll your eyes and listen to the sob story? This is a typical scene for many moms.

I have another commitment that day.

Say it and mean it. Regularly schedule in time with your family or time alone and if someone ask for your help during that time look in your planner and tell them you have another commitment.

Instead of rushing to be everything to everyone, stop. Ask yourself if you truly have time for whatever comes up. If not, say no by walking away, turning off the ringer on the phone, or not answering the knock at your door.

Always remember that you are a mom—not a super hero. When you have to say no, people will understand; if they don’t at first, they will get used to it eventually.

For more suggestions on living the life that you want to live visit Journey to Joy  (it is loaded with examples and action steps)

Aurelia Williams has given me two free reports on life balance to share with my readers.  Please help yourself and share with your friends:

You Deserve a Break - 15 different ways to “Take a Break”

Top 10 Ways to Reconnect with Your Family - 4 pages of excellent suggestions on spending quality time with your family.

I hope you enjoy them!