1. No Focus.  I have too many ideas and I’m committed to all of them.  I run a website consulting business, a home fitness for women business and this blog for WAHM balance.  I don’t know how to present myself.  As ONE person, or THREE?  So far, I’ve gotten no answer to this question… even though I’ve asked.
2. Fear of Competition. I look at other websites that are similar to mine. I get jealous of what they have accomplished. I believe there is no way I can compete, so why should I bother?
3. Guilt.  This one cracks me up because, logically, I know it’s silly. When I network online with others in my “field” or post a comment with a link to try and build traffic to my site, I feel like I’m stealing.  Who am I to take attention from them and try to turn it to me?  Who am I to ask them to “share” their followers?  When I actually CAN compete with a lower price, I feel bad for making others look over-priced.
4. Lack of Support.  Okay… I don’t want anyone to take personal offense here.  This is my issue and I’m probably not aiming it at anyone in particular.  People don’t understand what I’m doing.  They think I should be out working for someone else earning a paycheck.  They don’t purchase from me.  They don’t tell other people what I’m doing.  They don’t believe what I’m doing is real, why should I?
5. Delay of Gratification. I can spend days on a project or idea and have it go nowhere.  If I were working for someone else, I’d still get a paycheck… on a schedule… whether the idea worked or not.  I don’t always see immediate results from my work-at-home efforts and I’m impatient.
6. Lack of Discipline.  I’m not going to get fired if I don’t work.  It’s sunny outside and I want to go enjoy it. Who’s gonna stop me? Oh, there’s a sink full of dishes that needs attending to. Let me just finish those up and I’ll get back to the website. I’d better get my workout in before it’s too late. Aren’t I supposed to be spending time with my kids? I know I have to make a schedule… but I don’t have to.
7. The Failure List.  I HAVE A FAILURE LIST!  (And if I sat here long enough, I could make it even longer.) I’m doomed!

Maybe tomorrow I’ll come back and tell myself off for this…

Any way, the conversation of summer camp came up with my neighbor/friend the other day, so I told her all about the Camp Cleanup we held a few years ago.  She thought it was a good idea.  Oddly enough, my kids liked it too. The house could definitely use it.  And we still have the camp t-shirts from 3 years ago.  (The shirts were so big then that they still fit now.)

The idea behind Camp Cleanup is to give your kids something to do during one week of their school vacation and get your house clean at the same time.  While everyone else’s kids go off to camp, we stay home and clean.  (My daughter just said “we have fun”.)  We spend the mornings cleaning together and then do something fun (or even more fun) together as a family in the afternoon as a reward.  Make camp t-shirts, go to the park, get ice cream, etc.

Going back to read my old post, I remembered that we designated an area of the house for each day and drew from a cup every morning to see what it would be.  Sounds cheezy, but it really did add to the excitement.  We worked our way from ceiling to floor in each area, trying to make it as fun as possible.  You know, throw water all over the kitchen floor and skate around in it with wash cloths under our feet.  Stuff like that.  You’ve really gotta get creative!  (Which is hard for me to do… Not sure what I was taking when I came up with the idea.)

We are thinking about repeating Camp Cleanup this year.  I need some inspiration!!!  Do you have any fun ways to clean that you can share?  How about some great inexpensive rewards to fit the theme?

During my recent great therapy session, my therapist and I were discussing road blocks that I have in my work-at-home mom career. (Hmm… road blocks… another analogy.) What is stopping me from moving forward? Well… I’m not an “expert” on anything. “Be the expert“ and “You don’t necessarily have to be the expert, you just have to appear to be one” are comments that I’ve heard over and over again in the WAHM community. (Just to be clear, I’m not entirely sure this is what was said, only what I heard.) I can’t work that way. I think that’s lying and being phoney! Whether I heard it right, or not, whether it’s being phoney, or not, doesn’t even matter. What matters is that somewhere in my mind, I believed it. I believed that I had to be an expert or I couldn’t get anywhere with my work.

However, just as soon as I said that out loud, a new thought popped into my mind.  Chicken Soup for the Soul!  Ah ha!  I don’t HAVE to be an expert!  I don’t HAVE to know everything! Who says I can’t use other people’s information and opinions (with permission, of course) to pull that together? Seriously… Chicken Soup for the Soul wasn’t written by one person. It is a compilation of other stories presented by two people (Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen).  I can do that!  I can use my vision and my knowledge of the subject and fill in the blanks with information others already know.  DUH!  Seems like a no-brainer NOW!  (Those road blocks can be rough.)

Now there are messages out there everywhere confirming this thought and I can retrain my tricky little mind into believing a new reality.   On Twitter this morning, @AWHWorg said “Don’t wait until you are ‘expert’ enough! Find other experts & great resources. Be the talent scout. Ask Q’s for your customers. Get set GO!“  And I didn’t previously follow her on Twitter.  Someone else retweeted her comment for me to find.  And then I found this article: You Don’t Need to Be an Expert to Be Successful (different subject, same bullet points). 

The universe is talking to me. 

P.S. The “work” I was referring to in this blog is for my Home Fitness for Women website, in case you want to visit.

Here is my WAHM version:

1. Have dinner ready. Do your best to have a warm meal on the table for your family at a reasonable hour. If your schedule allowed time for a fresh home-cooked dinner, great! Your husband will certainly appreciate the fact that he “lets” you stay home to take care of everyone. When you just don’t have time to cook, grab from one of the frozen double-batched meals you made over the weekend for this type of dilema. And if worse comes to worst, call out for pizza!

2. Prepare yourself. Grab a wine glass and fill ‘er up! It’s been a long day and you need to relax and take a break before the evening shift starts.

3. Clear away the clutter. Close the laptop or shut off the PC. Stack and remove the papers from the kitchen table or counter top. (You need someplace to eat that warm meal.) Pick up some of the toys that are sprawled all over the floor. Make it look like you didn’t just spend the entire day sitting in front of the computer monitor.

4. Prepare the children. At least know where they are and what their homework is.

5. Minimize all noise. Heck with that! Turn on the radio or CD. The music will help you keep moving while clearing away the clutter.

6. Some don’ts: Don’t turn on the TV. Don’t sit on the couch. You’ve worked too hard for it to look like you sat on the couch eating Bon-Bons all day.

7. Make him comfortable. Meet him at the door with a hug and a kiss. Appreciate him for dealing with the 50+ hour work week and for his long commute. Then have his children hug him while you make a break for it and leave him with the kids.

8. Listen to him. When he finally breaks free from the kids, before you start informing him of the chores you’ve done and what the children got into, let him tell you about his day. Even though you have no interest in hearing about the corporate blabber, pretend you care. It will make him feel important.

9. Make the evening his. Let him go do his thing. After all, you have to get back to work and finish the things you couldn’t get done with your preschooler wrapped around your leg.

10. The Goal: Try to make it appear that you have it all under control and that you being at home is the best thing for everybody. It is, isn’t it?

11. My One Addition: Make sure to spend some time with your children and husband instead of just working all the time. Don’t forget your “why”.

So pardon me while I whine and complain for a few minutes.  Hopefully this will get me out of my Monday morning funk and get me moving again…

I’m tired!  I’m tired of doing the same damn thing over and over again and ending up right where I started. 

My kitchen sink is full of dishes.  My dishwasher is also full of dishes and running.  I know I did them yesterday!  My kitchen floor is dirty.  You know… the one I scrubbed on my hands and knees last weekend despite the fact that I’ve had back pain for a month?  And I can’t get to my children’s beds to kiss them good night in the evenings without threat of getting sucked into the quick-sand of toys and clothes scattered across the room.  Didn’t we just clean?  UGH!  I could go on and on.  I won’t though, because I’m guessing that you’ve been there, done that.  You know exactly what I mean, don’t you?  And yes, I have met the FlyLady.  And YES, I am being too picky!!  (And yes, I did have to go back and put that second “o” in the “too” in that sentence because I have issues like that toO!) 

So, what’s up with this twenty pounds? I’ve lost this same damn 20 pounds over and over and over again.  I should SOOooo know better than to ask.  Because I already know ALL the answers.  Yes, I quit smoking in October.  Yes, I ate too much during the holidays (was that four months ago already?).  Yes, I’ve been working out and yes I know that muscle weighs more than fat.  Yes, it probably has something to do with my level of stress and my prescription medication (which I won’t be able to keep taking now that I don’t have the insurance to pay for it).  Yes, I am getting older and my metabolism is slowing down.  SO WHAT?  Have any of these reasons EVER made that mushroom top look more attractive?  No!  I didn’t think so!  (Did I forget to mention the second serving of chili with cheese and sour cream I had last night?  Or the cocktail I had?  Oh Pleeeease!  That has NOTHING to do with anything!)

And speaking of exercise, why is it that every time I start feeling like I’m making progress, something happens that forces me to stop?  Last year I was starting to train to run a 5K.  I’ve never ever been able to run more than a 1/4 mile without stopping, but I was making progress for the first time ever and ….  Oops!  I was in an accident and hit my head (bad enough to warrant an MRI) which took me off of the exercise agenda for weeks.  That was the end of that.  When I started running again, my shins gave out.  Then when I started again, my back went out.  What the heck?  Is there some cosmic force telling me I shouldn’t exercise for some reason?  Well, guess what?  I’m not listening!  I’m going to get back on that treadmill if it kills me!  (Which it might.)

And now I have next to no income and HAVE to get my website businesses going.  I HAVE to find some creative way to spur business and make this profitable or my children don’t get to eat.  Do you have any idea how difficult it is to be creative under that kind of pressure?  (Okay… me and the other half of the population these days.  Am I preaching to the choir?  Sorry.)

And… and… and….  How am I doing with this self-pity party so far?  Yeah, I thought so.  But sometimes ya just gotta vent!

Yes, I know that I have complete control over ALL of this.  And I’m going to go clean my dishes and get on my treadmill (where my creative juices will start to flow) and then I’ll get some website work done. 

Because I can!

Because I won’t quit!

See?  I feel better already!

As you probably know, my position at work was eliminated a week and a half ago. (i.e. I was fired… and the reason given: “it’s just business”.) Needless to say, after working for a brand new company for 11 months and having been promoted twice in that time frame, being let go was a rather big shock. Yes, I’m sure it’s for the best.

So, obviously we are going to add a large amount of financial stress into this equation since my unemployment benefits will be almost $200 less a week than my paycheck and I will be losing my insurance (for all the good it did me anyway). One of my prescriptions is $220 a month for the GENERIC! I’m waiting for my doctor to give me a solution to that problem.

My back hurts like hell! I threw it out coughing when I had a chest cold a month ago. I’ve gotten a massage, two chiropractic adjustments and done quite a bit of walking and stretching. I was doing well for a couple of weeks, but the recent stress has led to muscle tension which has led me to walking like a 90 year old man again.

I had a fight with my husband last week about an old unresolved issue. He has forgiven me for things that I had gotten myself into during my “mid-life crisis”, but I have been unable to forgive him for what preceded the entire breakdown in our relationship. Obviously, there is alot more work to be done in that area on my part.

And then there is the issue of what-do-I-do-now? Again, I am faced with the question of “What do you want to be when you grow up?” My slate is clean. I have a fresh place to start. What on Earth do I do with it? I think I want to work for myself again. I want to pick up my website consulting and my fitness mentoring where I left it and make it all work this time. But who am I to be successful at that? I know alot and I am organized and resourceful, but I’m certainly no expert!

Believe it or not, I actually managed to get all of these thoughts out and discussed in an hour. We discussed what has happened, how and why to get around my roadblocks, and she gave me an incredible amount of confidence in the process. I wasn’t quite sure if she was my psychotherapist or if she had transformed into a life coach. I believe she has managed to be both. I’ve seen her off and on for at least two years now and we’ve made incredible progress, especially lately. Today was definitely one of the great therapy sessions. There was so much energy in the room that she actually started to “get goosebumps” and cry. Yes, her. Not me. Although I did leave with an entirely different attitude than I walked into that room with.

Look out world! Here I come!

By the way, if you are ever in need of a great therapist in Western NC, her name is Roberta Moore and her practice is Conscious Choices.

This morning I lost my job.

“If nothing ever changed, there’d be no butterflies.” ~Author Unknown

What am I going to do now? I don’t know yet, but I believe I have plenty of options. I could take some time off. I could go find another job. I could jump back into my website business with a new gusto! Time will tell.

I think I’ll sit back for a little while and see what my soul tells me to do.

Stay tuned!

“Even nectar is poison if taken to excess.”  ~Hindu Proverb

“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.”  ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

“I am not afraid of storms for I am learning how to sail my ship.”  ~Louisa May Alcott

“Make the most of yourself, for that is all there is of you.”  ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Lend yourself to others, but give yourself to yourself.”  ~Michel de Montaigne

“Life is the sum of all your choices.”  ~Albert Camus

“Health is a large word.  It embraces not the body only, but the mind and spirit as well;… and not today’s pain or pleasure alone, but the whole being and outlook of a man.”  ~James H. West

“To go beyond is as wrong as to fall short.”  ~Confucius, Analects

“No one can get inner peace by pouncing on it.”  ~Harry Emerson Fosdick

Balancing Your Home and Business Life without Having Super Powers

Article by: Aurelia Williams

For moms who work from home, balancing the home and business sides of their lives can feel downright impossible, especially when the reason they began working from home was so they could spend more time with family. However, many home businesses actually fail because moms don’t manage to balance business and home life. How can you juggle your family’s needs, your business needs and occasionally find some time for your needs without being a super hero?

The first thing any mom should do to achieve balance is to get the family involved. If your children and husband support you, you will find that they interrupt less often and are more likely to pitch in to get household chores done. You’re probably thinking that will happen the day the moon turns to blue cheese, right? However, if you mention that you need to get a major project done and will be able to buy a pizza and rent a video when you are paid, you may be surprised at how quickly everyone pitches in to help out.

If you have young children, they may not be able to understand the concept of waiting for a reward. To get your younger children involved, try explaining what you are doing in very simple terms and having them help you. Set up a small desk or table for your toddlers and add crayons and paper so they can help you with your work by drawing some pictures or writing a letter. Children that are a bit older can put stamps on envelopes and seal them, paperclip papers together or do other simple organizational tasks.

Of course, no matter how supportive your family and friends are, they are not going to be happy if you work 15 hours a day. Make sure that you ask for uninterrupted time to do your job or run your business, but also make sure that you schedule time for your family and friends. While you are making up that schedule, don’t forget your significant other. If you sit at your computer all evening after the children are tucked away for the night, you may end up with some serious relationship issues!

Once your family and friends are involved and you’ve scheduled time for them in your life, it is time to consider a few ways to make the most of your valuable work time. While you may be tempted to work non-stop during the time you have dedicated to your business, you should actually try to take some breaks. Taking a half-hour walk or having lunch away from your desk can really help you recharge your mind and keeps your body from growing stiff and tired. When you sit back down, you can do so with a clearer view of your goals and fresh energy and focus.

Also, don’t be afraid to make a “to do” list for your business. Write the four or five items you absolutely must do on your list and promise yourself that you will get them done before you visit your favorite forums or check your email. This can really help you get more work accomplished in less time.

So, although you may not have super powers, you can still have a home life, a business life and some time for yourself. The next time you are feeling overwhelmed, take a deep breath, ask your family for some help and try out a few of these great ideas for balancing your life.

Article by: Aurelia Williams is the author of Journey To Joy, an inspiring eBook that explores many obstacles that women face. It also provides essential action steps, worksheets, resources and an hour long Balancing Your Life Audio.

What does this have to do with time management? Really… nothing… except the analogy that even though times have changed the options, the choices are still yours to make. Everyone has their own unique style. What works for someone else may not work for you.

Modern technology has provided a multitude of time management tools for each of us to use. Paper products such as wall calendars, desk calendars, spiral bound planners and loose-leaf organizers are still very popular options. Over time, PC software tools, website utilities, and smartphones have joined in the possibilities. The options are virtually endless. Explore these tools and determine which one, or combination, fits your individual needs.

Scheduling of your time for optimum productivity also presents many options. Consider how and when you work at your best. Are you the type that gets more done when you start a task and stick to with it all day long without distraction? (Is the lack of distraction even possible?) Or do you prefer to complete a big project in smaller steps and do multiple, different tasks in one day? Some people are more productive in the morning, while others work late into the night. Which one are you? Figure out what works best for you and then plan accordingly.

In order to effectively manage your time, you need to choose what tools and management style work for you as an individual. Trying to do it someone else’s way is like trying to put a square peg in a round hole and will only lead to an overwhelming feeling of chaos. Doing it your way, believe it or not, could actually make scheduling a little more… fun!

How to Be Organized in Spite of Yourself: Time and Space Management That Works with Your Personal Style Revised and updated, this is a fabulous resource for one of the hottest topics of the last decade–getting organized! Recognizing that just one organizational system is not for everyone, the authors have devised solutions that provide ten different systems to match ten basic personality types, such as Perfectionist Plus, Hopper, Fence Sitter, Pack Rat, and Total Slob.